Your second birthday is coming

Hey little T

It is hard to believe that in a few days you would have been two years old. Mommy and I talk about you often and wonder what you would be like, we wish you were here so we could see for ourselves rather than rely on our imagination. I was listening to a song the other day the words went as follows, "you are not dead, you are just living in my head". I guess thats where you are going to be for the rest of my life.

I think of you every single day, whether for a brief moment or long enough to cry. It seems crazy to me but I find a strength and a calm in you. When I am having a rough day at work all I have to do is look at the pictures of you, that I carry with me, and everything gets put back into perspective - you make me feel like nothing is that big of a deal.

Your brother is 4 months old now. I look into his beautiful blue eyes, much the same as yours, and I see life, that I once saw in yours. The last time I looked into your eyes, you were lying on a hospital bed, and it was then that I knew you were gone. Looking into your brothers eyes I get to see you, I get to see life.