Devastated, one year on

A year has passed since our darling grandson, Trevor was taken from us. That is the most devastating event to happen to any grandparent especially as Trevor is our first grandson born from the marriage of our first born and only son and his wife.
He has left a gaping hole in our lives and no matter how much time passes, we are always aware that out of the blue something will be said or done or seen which will remind us of Trevor and we will again sink into that sadness of our family’s loss. Even just waking up some mornings brings on that longing feeling.
Darling Trevor you are our sunrise and our sunset and we will always love you.

Grandma & Granddad in SA
2008 01 23

Christmas wish from Grandpa and Granny

Darling Trevor,
Last Christmas was so special for us because you were there and we were in Dallas with you.
Firsts of any kind are important and you being our first grandson and first child to your Mom & Dad and also your first Christmas made it even more important.
This Christmas you will be with us in spirit and we will always be grateful for having you, even if it was for a short time.
We love you and think of you daily our first and beautiful grandson.
Love you
Granddad & Grandma in SA

9 months T

Nine months since I've seen you last. It is truly hard to believe. I was standing at Trevor's crib looking at a picture we have of him, his beautiful face, little nose, blue eyes, red lips, so innocent - he was perfect. What a horrific experience. To imagine that beautiful little baby boy dying in his crib is unbearable. I try not to go down this path to often but fortunately, mentally and physically, I am only able to deal with this dark place in very brief moments, it actually causes me to physically shudder.
Miss you every day T

Childrens Garden

On the grounds of the local catholic church, St Thomas Aquinas, a family that lost their child established a beautiful little garden for deceased children. Friends of ours (thank you) purchased a plaque in Trevor's name that has been placed on a wall in the garden. We do not have a grave site to go and visit. When ever we want to spend time with Trevor we go into his room. The garden is a beautiful place, quiet, fountains, safe. It is a nice place to go and spend time with T.

I will take more pictures of the actual garden and post them.

Subconscious

A couple of weekends ago, it was actually a Sunday, something interesting happened. Things were going along smoothly for the better part of the day until about late afternoon. I suddenly was overcome with sadness. I was standing out in the back yard, doing nothing in particular. I new it was Trevor. I came inside, went into his room, stood at his crib and squeezed the little box that contains his ashes tighter than I ever had - "hey little guy"

I walked back into the living room, Tracy asked if I was ok, I am just sad I said. Sunday passed. On Monday morning I received a text from my sister, "thinking of you guys yesterday". I realized it was the 23rd, Trevor had died 8 months prior. The amazing thing was that I had "forgotten", we were busy living, healing. I guess my subconscious had not forgotten. So its is true, life does go on, but you never forget.

Happy Birthday T

Trevor Howard Hamilton

Born 12 September 2006 at 12:25pm
7 pounds 3 ounces
19 inches



Wish you were here

Love you

Mommy and Daddy

Happy Birthday Trevor from Grandma & Granddad

Darling Trevor,

2007 September 12th your 1st birthday would have been a very special day for you and your Mom & Dad.

We wish you could be here with us.

We can only imagine how you would look with your beautiful face and those blue eyes. Your chubby legs with dimpled knees which would by now be carrying you as you start walking and becoming even more active than you ever were.

It is wonderful to have an imagination.

We feel so fortunate to have had time with you and we try to be thankful for that time but it is very, very hard because we wanted so much more.

While trying to continue life positively after you left we do feel a hollowness and emptiness and struggle to find meaning and direction in what we now have and do. The spring in our step is not as high as it used to be.

The last time we saw you, is how we will always remember you.

Love Grandma & Granddad

2007 09 12