Happy Birthday son

Wow, 7 years old T We think of you often, somedays more than others. I wish you were here for your brother - so does he. Ian has asked for you many times - he cant quite grasp the heaven thing. Sometimes I picture you and Ian playing together, the four of us on a beach, in the pool together. Wish you were there to hold his hand as he walks into school - he looks so lost. As Ian progresses through life we realize what we missed with you. Your brother is letting us experience you - not exactly how I would have preferred it but we will take it - we love him for him and for you - we love him twice as much. We will cry for you tomorrow my boy Love you always

Darling Trevor,

You are a very special boy.

What time we had together was such a joy.

We remember today 5 years ago and rest
easy knowing that the angels are with you.

Love.
Granddad & Grandma.
2012 01 23

Darling Trevor,

Happy 5th birthday.

We are so fortunate to have been a part
of your life even for so short a time.

No death, no separation can erase the
love we have for you.

Grandma & Granddad
In South Africa.

2011 09 12

Miss You

Darling Trevor,
Your memory is close to our hearts and
you are always in our thoughts.
Love.
Grandma & Granddad
South Africa
2011 01 23

Happy 4th Birthday

Happy birthday darling Trevor.
Still thinking and talking about you.
All our love.
Granddad and Grandma
South Africa

Today

My heart is heavy for you today T. I miss you boy.

Miss you

Three years have passed and we are learning to manage the pain of your death and unfinished life.
Love
Grandad & Grandma
South Africa
2010 01 23

Three years old

Trevor,
Happy 3rd birthday our darling angel.

That is how we will always remember you.

You will never be a terrible 2 year old
an exciting 3 year old
nor a mischievous 4 year old
nor an adventurous 5year old.

You will always be missed and loved.

Granddad & Grandma
In South Africa
2009 09 12

Darling Trevor,

Another year gone by and we are still no closer to understanding your death. Granddad and I think of you daily and can just imagine what a wonderful grandson you would have been.
We will love you and miss you always.
Granddad & Grandma

Happy birthday baby boy

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Trevor
Happy birthday to you

Love you T

Happy Birthday Trevor

Happy birthday darling Trevor,
You are 2 years old today. We can only imagine what you would have looked like and what you would be doing. Your short life left such a deep impression on us, never to be forgotten.
Time does not heal. We have just learnt to accept and live with the sorrow. You will always be a part of our lives even if only in spirit.
Love you.
Grandma and Granddad
2008 09 12

Your second birthday is coming

Hey little T

It is hard to believe that in a few days you would have been two years old. Mommy and I talk about you often and wonder what you would be like, we wish you were here so we could see for ourselves rather than rely on our imagination. I was listening to a song the other day the words went as follows, "you are not dead, you are just living in my head". I guess thats where you are going to be for the rest of my life.

I think of you every single day, whether for a brief moment or long enough to cry. It seems crazy to me but I find a strength and a calm in you. When I am having a rough day at work all I have to do is look at the pictures of you, that I carry with me, and everything gets put back into perspective - you make me feel like nothing is that big of a deal.

Your brother is 4 months old now. I look into his beautiful blue eyes, much the same as yours, and I see life, that I once saw in yours. The last time I looked into your eyes, you were lying on a hospital bed, and it was then that I knew you were gone. Looking into your brothers eyes I get to see you, I get to see life.

Happy Valentines Day Mommy

Every day Trevor, every day

No
No
Please stop this from happening
I feel like I am reliving that day, the last time I saw him, the last night I put him down to sleep
I know what is going to happen and I can’t stop it
Everyday for 365 days T, everyday I have thought about you. I see your face every morning, some days I cry, and other days I smile
We miss you Trevor. Miss you from a place I did not know existed.

Pray Mommy Pray

Our Darling Trevor
Today is that awful day, that terrible day. We still find it difficult. We talk about you often and your photo is a reminder of how beautiful you were. We pray that God will help your mommy and daddy through this and be there for them, make them strong and help them understand and accept your will.
We love you always
Think of you always
Miss you always
Aunty Lisa, Uncle Bevil, Meggan and Kayla
From South Africa

Devastated, one year on

A year has passed since our darling grandson, Trevor was taken from us. That is the most devastating event to happen to any grandparent especially as Trevor is our first grandson born from the marriage of our first born and only son and his wife.
He has left a gaping hole in our lives and no matter how much time passes, we are always aware that out of the blue something will be said or done or seen which will remind us of Trevor and we will again sink into that sadness of our family’s loss. Even just waking up some mornings brings on that longing feeling.
Darling Trevor you are our sunrise and our sunset and we will always love you.

Grandma & Granddad in SA
2008 01 23

Christmas wish from Grandpa and Granny

Darling Trevor,
Last Christmas was so special for us because you were there and we were in Dallas with you.
Firsts of any kind are important and you being our first grandson and first child to your Mom & Dad and also your first Christmas made it even more important.
This Christmas you will be with us in spirit and we will always be grateful for having you, even if it was for a short time.
We love you and think of you daily our first and beautiful grandson.
Love you
Granddad & Grandma in SA

9 months T

Nine months since I've seen you last. It is truly hard to believe. I was standing at Trevor's crib looking at a picture we have of him, his beautiful face, little nose, blue eyes, red lips, so innocent - he was perfect. What a horrific experience. To imagine that beautiful little baby boy dying in his crib is unbearable. I try not to go down this path to often but fortunately, mentally and physically, I am only able to deal with this dark place in very brief moments, it actually causes me to physically shudder.
Miss you every day T

Childrens Garden

On the grounds of the local catholic church, St Thomas Aquinas, a family that lost their child established a beautiful little garden for deceased children. Friends of ours (thank you) purchased a plaque in Trevor's name that has been placed on a wall in the garden. We do not have a grave site to go and visit. When ever we want to spend time with Trevor we go into his room. The garden is a beautiful place, quiet, fountains, safe. It is a nice place to go and spend time with T.

I will take more pictures of the actual garden and post them.

Subconscious

A couple of weekends ago, it was actually a Sunday, something interesting happened. Things were going along smoothly for the better part of the day until about late afternoon. I suddenly was overcome with sadness. I was standing out in the back yard, doing nothing in particular. I new it was Trevor. I came inside, went into his room, stood at his crib and squeezed the little box that contains his ashes tighter than I ever had - "hey little guy"

I walked back into the living room, Tracy asked if I was ok, I am just sad I said. Sunday passed. On Monday morning I received a text from my sister, "thinking of you guys yesterday". I realized it was the 23rd, Trevor had died 8 months prior. The amazing thing was that I had "forgotten", we were busy living, healing. I guess my subconscious had not forgotten. So its is true, life does go on, but you never forget.